Card of the Month:
Bronze God (May 2013) Key Idea, Responsibility "Apply yourself to the task at hand. That's what you always told me," Chantal reminded him. "You need to do for others to get your self-esteem back," Lashan suggested,” (Tori Hartman) When things aren’t working the way you want, what do you do? When you have an obligation to someone that you resent, how do you handle the situation? There are of course no easy answers to these difficult questions, and it can be pretty tough to balance the needs of people around you with what you yourself really want. The fable of bronze god highlights a character, Darnel, who, when faced with increased family obligations, put his own needs on the back burner. He forgot his inner child’s need to play, and he lost touch with his authentic self. Darnel may have gone too far in putting the needs of others first, but his story serves as a reminder that responsibilities and obligations really do matter and shouldn’t be dismissed simply because they might seem a momentary inconveniences. As the fable continues, Darnel himself loses his job, and his sisters throw back at him the suggestions for discipline he had earlier demanded of them. “Apply yourself to the task at hand.” "You need to do for others to get your self-esteem back.” Taken to the extreme, these responses certainly demonstrate a hard edge. To just go on as if nothing unusual had happened isn’t exactly an indicator of psychological health. But at the same time, there’s some advice here that might be worth taking seriously. “Apply yourself to the task at hand.” In the context of staying disciplined in the face of adversity or simply not giving up to wallow for long in self pity, it’s not such a bad idea to keep on keeping on. When you lose a job, consistently sending out new resumays makes a lot of sense. When you lose a relationship, beginning the dating process earlier than you might think you’re ready may have some benefit. "You need to do for others to get your self-esteem back.” So maybe there are some unanticipated benefits in helping out others or in meeting obligations? In the fable, Darnel, the bronze god, may have been too rigid about following through on his bligations and responsibilities, but at the same time, his story provides an unexpected reminder that in turn those obligations and responsibilities dd matter and following through on them may indeed enhance our self esteem.
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Card of the Month:
Bronze God (May 2013) Key idea, Play “Exercise, go to a movie, and take your family out on a picnic. Don't be so serious about yourself or your work. If you squelch your need to play, you may lose all your creativity. The message here is to take a break, relax, and get back in touch with your playful self,” (Tori Hartman). “The National Institute for Play is a 501c(3) non-profit public benefit corporation committed to bringing the unrealized knowledge, practices and benefits of play into public life. It is gathering research from diverse play scientists and practitioners, initiating projects to expand the clinical scientific knowledge of human play and translating this emerging body of knowledge into programs and resources which deliver the transformative power of play to all segments of society,” So, what have you done for fun this week? How have you spent time relaxing, day dreaming or being playful? What activities come to mind when you think of the word “play?”? As we have seen, Darnel, the protagonist in the bronze god fable, got into trouble when he increased his responsibilities to others at the expense of his own needs. More specifically, losing his father at a young age meant that he focused on keeping the family together, making a living and taking on some pretty adult roles very early. Pretty admirable. But in all of this, Darnel began taking himself pretty seriously, and he poopooed and squashed a child’s need to simply hang out with friends, spend time in the park and just play. Not surprising in this society where the work ethic is so strong and not surprising in Darnel’scase when the circumstances were so dire. And yet, it goes without saying that that sense of play has all kinds of benefits—from increasing our creativity, helping us recharge and teaching us to get out of our way without taking ourselves too seriously. Further, whether it’s just relaxing at a movie, playing board or computer games or going to the park to let loose on a swing or a slide, play—either by ourselves or with friends—can just be a source of just plain fun. As the second quote above reminds us in an unusually interesting way, even scientists are starting to highlight the rewards and benefits of play. So, what have you done for fun this week? How have you spent time relaxing, day dreaming or being playful? What activities come to mind when you think of the word “play?” How might more“play” in your life be of benefit to you or simply provide a source of fun? ? Brown Card of the MonthBronze God
Keyword: Facade/Authenticity In what ways this week have you done things to support the “real” you? On the other hand, have you acted because you thought you needed to please someone else, because you thought you “should” or because you didn’t spend much time reflecting on what the “authentic you really wanted? In the fable, a young man named Darnel exhibits a lot of the qualities generally associated with the color brown: he’s dependable, reliable, down-to-earth, and he’s there for everyone in his family. After the death of his father, “For his mother, he had to listen and be successful, and for the youngest, Chantal, he made sure she paid attention to her studies. For his middle sister, Lashan, he stayed on her to do her chores for Momma. And, for the oldest, LaDonna, he was a sounding board about boys.” Only one problem in Darnel’s life but it turns out to be a big one. Darnel as the “bronze god” has become pretty rigid and has stopped paying attention to his own needs. Taking on the father role early, he’s become great at cultivating responsibility but he’s forgotten—and come to the point that he doesn’t even want to hear—that his needs matter too. “He paused when he reached the neighborhood park and watched the children playing. His sisters had played here many times, but he never had. …. Darnel slid down behind a tree, alone, and cried.”… Taking action without connecting to how you really feel about engaging those actions? Putting the needs of others first? Even demeaning any need to spend carefree time? In and of itself, there’s nothing wrong with any of this, and as is the case for Darnel, sometimes circumstances force roles on us we might not otherwise take on. But the fable of Bronze God and the character of Darnel provide a poignant reminder that we are at our best when our actions align with our authentic self. Aqua thought of the Week
Keyword: Exploration! What’s the first thing you think of when you think of the color aqua? (Maybe a prior question is, when was the last time you actually did think about the color aqua, but that’s not the purpose of this thought of the week.) As with other colors, aqua probably means different things to different people. But for me, once I think about the color’s intimate connection with the element of water, I start thinking about all kinds of things associated with the lore of the sea. Explorers of old heading out into unknown territory. Divers finding new worlds many many miles below the ocean’s surface. Mythical creatures including mermaids, nymphs and even sea monsters. Doesn’t just thinking about such explorations get you even just a little bit excited? It comes down to the allure of exploring far flung places, taking risks and pushing out the boundaries of what is safe and known. In the end, it makes me feel good about who I am and proud of what I have done. In what ways this week might you too find yourself drawn to the kinds of adventures and explorations you find most meaningful? |
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